i am a MEGalopolis

Today is Friday, thank god, but I am having a hard time enjoying it. I try not be a sentimental romantic and I promise I will not post shit like this all the time but sometimes you gotta be a sappy dousche. Here are numerous examples of that throughout cinema history.

Now for me, being…

My hope for you is that, in your lifetime, you get to feel love like this.

ND

On Being Prosaic OR: Thinking about thinking about switching gyms

In adolescence, I remember feeling as if I would constantly be focused on the philosophical, the high brow, the meaning behind things. I was certain I would only ever spend my time on “things that mattered” and that my worries and every day concerns would always be global and dramatic. How do I solve world hunger? What is my place in life?

I scoffed at the 30-something marrieds (*shudder*) that wandered back and forth down the aisles in the grocery store, passionately discussing the health benefits of whole wheat bread vs. white bread - things that, to me, seemed absolutely worthless and asinine. I was better than them. I didn’t need to concern myself with such drivel. I was a THINKING PERSON. I was ENGAGED WITH THE WORLD. I was FULL OF SHIT.

This morning I had the following conversation with myself:
I wonder if I should switch from LA Fitness to Equinox, especially since LA Fitness are retards and fucked up my membership. I do like that gym though, and Lauren is a member. But we never go together. Equinox is more expensive per month, but it is closer to work so it would be easier to work out every day. Only, there isn’t really an Equinox near my house unless I want to venture to the Sunset Strip on the weekends. BLAH. But then, really, I should be out hiking with my boyfriend on the weekends anyway. I love hiking and it is good to be outside. So I really only need gym access on the weekdays. There is no LA Fitness near work. But there is a Crunch …

This is what growing up is really all about.

For Nat Dinga.

(via bigbowlofsoup)

ND

Today I told my friend Matt that he should go as David Lee Roth for Halloween.

This is what being a good friend is all about.

The Word of Dinga: I think that being a stalker would be kinda awesome →

natdinga:

Look, many of you would see this title and think that I am saying it in jest but in someways I think being a stalker could be a great way to help improve someones life.

I mean most stalkers, when they aren’t stealing your underwear to make a hammock or stocking up bulk quantities of duct tape…

Follow this dude.

korenzailckas:

FURIOUS AT FAMILY? FIRST ASK YOURSELF, WHICH MASK DO YOU WEAR?

Today’s Fury-related post is brought to you by the fine folks at Internet-of-the-Mind.com….

Before you try to resolve some family conflict, it’s best to know whether you and your clan are clinging to certain unspoken rules and long-held roles. If you are, you’re not likely to resolve the insanity; any cease fire is apt to be temporary.

The following is a list of the Survival Roles or “Masks” that children learn as a way to survive not getting their needs met:

Hero:

This child never feels “good enough”. They become a “human doing” instead of a human being. They are out to prove their worth but never do to their own satisfaction.

There are two types of Hero’s:

The Flashy One: The class president… strait A student…captain of the football team… and valedictorian.

The Responsible One: The 10 or 12 year old who comes home after school…gets the mail…washes the dishes…cleans up the house… and cares for the younger children. This is the “behind-the-scenes-hero.

Heroes seek attention and recognition but can never get enough. They tend to become workaholics, over-achievers, and so-called type-A personalities.

They live in fear that they are going to be “found out” as frauds by others.

Rebel/Scapegoat:

This child learns to get attention through misbehavior. They get time, attention, affection, and direction from teachers, principals, counselors, and juvenile officers who are all trying to manage their behavior. Unconsciously, the rebel understands that negative strokes are better than no strokes at all.

People Pleaser:

This child is prone to approval-seeking behavior. They fear abandonment and rejection if they say “no” and so developed difficulty setting boundaries.

Placater:

It is the job of this child to help the family avoid conflict by heading off trouble and making sure others don’t make waves. This role and the People Pleaser may also be the Lost Child. It is not unusual for middle children to take on several roles or all of the roles at different times in the life of the family.

Lost Child:

This child uses fantasy to get time, attention, affection, and direction. They may have a favorite doll that they play mother to; vicariously getting their own needs met.

They may also lose themselves in comic books, novels, television, video games, and imaginary friends to name a few distractions. This child brings relief to the family because they’re known as the one they never have to worry about. They are always around somewhere would never make any noise.

The Intellectualizer/Rationalizer:

A.K.A., the Computer, This child learns to say out of their emotions by staying in the thinking or left brain to “figure things out.”

While this is an attempt to protect themselves from feeling their painful emotions, it usually backfires because they end up attracting, and being attracted to, people who freely express those same painful emotions. These people “trigger” the intellectualizer into reluctantly experiencing their blocked emotions.

The Mascot:

The baby of the family… usually preoccupied with humor or being cute. This child gets a lot of time, attention, affection, and direction for the cute and funny things babies do. They learn to stay “on stage” and become the class clown or the beauty queen. The silliness of this child can continue into adulthood to an embarrassing degree.

In dysfunctional families, roles sometimes shift. People will adopt different parts, but the script doesn’t change. The clan needs masks to keep avoiding emotional pain and deeper issues.

Reflective Material.

There are about a thousand things I’d like to say to my mother. My wants for her are so cliche as to seem prosaic, but not to have them is to see how invaluable they are. I am a pod. A singular entity. We use our antennae to feel each other out, never venturing too far into the wild landscape of emotional depth. It is a choice, a blanket of safety. It is why it is so hard to call sometimes, and navel-gazing isn’t the same as self-awareness.

There is a stillness here now. The dust has settled. There is such a great amount of wide open s p a c e. You could lose yourself in possibility.

fuckyouverymuch:

We dream about having our own private library.

Me too.

Top five movies of 2011.

(via stayforthecredits)

Again!

I am but one of many currently reflecting on and reimagining life as 2012 begins. I almost always approach the new year with optimism - and why not? Nothing has been tainted with errors or tragedies yet. If I remember correctly, this usually breaks around my end-of-March birthday when my expectations of myself reach such epic proportions as to never be fulfilled, or something outside of my control collapses and I am left to clean the mess. Each time, though I am hopeful, I await the other shoe’s descent, certain it will come.

This year is different.

I can’t go into 2012 without talking about 2011 and how important it was for me. I think, as a person who is continually growing and adapting, I don’t fully realize the significance of each moment and turning point until far after the fact. I’m too busy trying to survive. But, something happened to me last year that changed everything. Those that know me knew I wasn’t usually one for sweeping romantic declarations, but I met the love of my life in March of 2011 and released myself from every pretense of unsentimentality I had.